Mod S2S Mentor

Making Friends in Middle School

I'm starting school at a new school for middle school (6th grade). I'm really nervous about making new friends because one of the people that I know that go to the school, in my grade said that everyones already made their friend groups. Help!
-Anon

I'm in a new middle school in the first year, sixth grade, and I was wondering how to make friends. I joined in the middle of the year in January, and so far have been their for two months. It's kind of hard because everyone already has friends and there's not a lot of time to just talk with people. We have lunch, but I have to wait on line for 10 minutes and eat, and lunch is 25 minutes long. It's really lonely sometimes and I wonder if I'll EVER make good friends with anyone and hang out people.
-Georgia

Aw geez, I feel you guys :( making friends is really hard, and always has been for me. But it’s definitely not to say you won’t ever make friends in the near future! And just because people have their friend groups doesn’t mean you can’t make friends whatsoever. There’s no fool proof way to guarentee you’ll get friends (sometimes it just happens), but there’s ways to increase your chances.

I’d first see if your school has any afterschool clubs you can join, such as an art club or book club, to meet people with similar interests. This is probably one of the best ways to meet like-minded people.

And don’t be afraid to go against the grain- put yourself out there! You can do this in ways where you don’t even need to talk, but just express yourself openly. For example, I’ve dyed my hair bright blue hair, bring little stuffies tucked under my chin, bring crochet/drawing stuff to work on in free time. Basically, this:

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Stuff that silently gets people’s attention. Even though this is a period of your life where your figuring yourself out, everyone else your age is going through the same thing, so do your best to be ok with that! And this in turn will help your confidence too, so eventually when you do find someone you want to talk to, it’s a little easier when you have some self assurance in yourself.

Keep in mind, though it’s hard to be friendless, don’t become too eager to become friends with anyone. Not everyone you click with will actually be a good friend and you don’t want to get caught up in a toxic relationship to escape the feeling of loneliness. It will take paitence and perseverence to find some good friends, so in the mean time, become good friends with yourself! Treat yourself like you would a best friend- check in with yourself, take care of your health, etc. You deserve it!

Here’s also blog post another mentor and I wrote with some additional tips on what to do when you find yourself ‘unpopular’ which you can read here: http://www.nmgmembers.com/blog/sister-to-sister-perks-of-being-unpopular-collab-w-sarah

Hope some of this helps a bit- good luck and have fun in 6th grade!! And if you guys have any other tips you've learned for making friends in school, feel free to comment them below!

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Replies

  • *sigh* i feel you to. I got into a big fight with one of my friends and literally had no friends on the first day. eventually we made up. but i know what it feels like to ... to... to be lonely :( BUT NEVER FEAR!!!! Just be you self and you SOON MY FRIEND YOU WILL have friends. I swear on my leg?
    • Heh, *flashback* when I was in middle school some of my “closest” friends thought I was annoying but they were really being irrational about their insecurities about being “unpopular” that completely destroyed my confidence, now I have Helen and that’s enough for me.
  • A tip of mine is that if you find the right group of friends for you (you will), stick with them even if you have hard times so then you don't have to start fresh with finding new friends again even if the friend group you originally had was the right one for you. Also if friends from elementary school are switching over too, you can stick with them. (the second one is what I did, but, I met some new friends too!)
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