Mod S2S Mentor

How to Talk to Your Crush

  • I have a crush on somebody, and I really like them. I want to tell them that I have a crush on them, but I’m worried they won’t like me back and I won’t even be able to be friends with them. What should I do?
    -Anonymous

Your not alone anon, that’s a fear everyone has when they have crush- and it makes sense! Your admiting your personal feelings to another person, being scared of rejection is completely understandable.

First of all, if you’re not already friends with this person, try becoming friends first! This will help you get to know them and vice versa, which will help you decide if this is someone you actually want to be with. This will also give you insight if this person is a good friend, because while they may seem nice on the outside, that doesn’t mean they actually are, and you don’t want to be caught up in a toxic relationship (romantic or otherwise).

Once you kinda get to know them better, and you still really like them, I would be honest about how you feel. Talking to them in person is best, but if there’s not a good opportunity to do so or you really don’t want to, you can also text them or write them a note. Just don’t use one of your friends to tell them for you, as this can get confusing for your crush to decifer if your friend is just messing with them, and since these are your personal feelings, it should come from you directly. Write something that’s honest and to the point, like, “Hey, I just wanted to let you know I really like you. I completely understand if you don’t feel the same way and would rather just be friends, I just wanted to get this off my chest.” Something that tells how you feel, but gives them freedom to not reciprocate, and that regardless you still want to be friends. Then, see their response. If they don’t give you one, I would gently ask if they got your note/text (just in case they actually didn’t see it), but be paitent if they say they're still thinking of a response. If they do decide to stop being friends with you, that’s on them and they may not have been a good friend to begin with. I’ve had crushes on a couple of my friends before and when I told them, they didn’t reciprocate but were understanding and we’re still close friends to this day. So if you have a solid friendship and both of you are willing to work to keep it going, this won’t stand in your way whatsoever, trust me.

But if they don’t reciprocate or don’t take it well, it’s ok to take some time for yourself and cry when you need to. This stuff is hard to go through. Eat food that makes you feel good (I don’t mean a bunch of icecream, some is definitely ok as a treat, but mostly food that will nourish your body), sleep well, and tell yourself this isn’t the end, although it may feel like it.

Good luck Anon, I believe in you!!

  • My crush and I have gotten along very well this year, but a week or two ago he started picking fights with me. 
    I have a sharp mouth sometimes (just ask my teachers), so I often say things I shouldn’t and end up regretting it later. But my friends say that if a boy fights with you he likes you.
    So does my crush (finally) like me or am I losing my relationship with him?
    Please help,
    FriendCrush

To be frank, that’s something you’re going to need to talk with your crush on. There isn’t an easy way to tell if someone likes you, as everyone expresses their feelings differently. Some guys will express their affection by teasing you, sure, but some don’t. In fact, I show affection by teasing people, so it’s also not just a boy thing either, nor just a romantic thing.

First, I would ask yourself, do you like when he fights with you? Do these fights feel like playful teasing? Or do your feelings get hurt? Because if it’s the latter, it doesn’t matter if he likes you or thinks he’s just teasing, he should not be hurting your feelings.

Your talk with him will depend on the answer to that above question. I’d start with, “Hey, it feels like you’ve been trying to pick fights with me recently, and I was wondering why that is.” And if you’ve been hurt by them, tell him that. Otherwise, see what he says. And make sure that nothing you’ve said during these fights have hurt his feelings either.

If you’re both on the same page and this is just banter, awesome! Your friendship is in good shape. Then you can decide if you want to confess how you feel to him. But if not, do your best to work with him on the situation, and hopefully he will too. But you won’t know until you engage in conversation about it.

Hope this helps anon, and good luck!!

 

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Replies

  • Same. I really like this certain person to. I want them to like me as a person and as a friend. But I just don't know how to get them to notice me. I know these things cant be forced... BUT THAT WILL NOT STOP ME IN GETTING THEM TO LIKE ME. NO MATTER THE COSEQUENSES. ( I spelled that so miserly) I don' have any interest in anything more than these bodily touches:
    Hugs.
    holding hands
    leaning on each other. ( EVEN THOUGH HE TOWERS ABOVE ME.)
    and maybe the occasional brisking of.... Nevermind I forgot
  • I have a crush on a girl but I'm not sure if she supports the LGBTQ+ community or not. We're quite good friends but I just wouldn't know how to tell her. Plus, I have a really annoying habit of being really awkward and embarrassing in front of my crushes. What should I do?
    • Start hanging out with that girl. Talk about what you both have in common, or what you like to do.
    • Mod S2S Mentor
      Similar to what I said to sunnyween below, I would definitely wait and see if she's supportive or not before confessing, for your safety. Even if you think you're really good friends (and you may be!), your safety is crucial and number one priority. See if the topic of the LGBTQ+ community can come up naturally in a conversation that's already happening, maybe related to a common interest you two have. But I wouldn't bring it up out of the blue, as that could be risky. And no worries, we're all really awkward and embarrassing in front of our crushes haha (or at least, we feel like we are). I'm sorry you're in this situation, it can be frustrating to have to play the waiting game to know her views, but is imperative in order to ensure there won't be severe backlash from this. I hope it all goes ok whenever you are able to tell her, hang in there and take care of yourself <33
      • Thank you so much, Katherine. <33
  • I have a boyfriend, but we never play together at recess. I always try to talk to him, but he doesn't have anything to say, so I try to start the conversations, but then I don't know what to say! I asked him what's his favorite color, but that's all. He told me where he lives, but nothing else yet. What topics should we talk about?
    • Your profile says you were born in 2012?
      Meaning your seven?
      So why do you have a boyfriend at that age?
      • I AM NOT SEVEN I AM 11
        • FOR THE LAST TIME!!!
          • Oh, you might want to change your profile which says you were born in 2012, indicating that you are 7. Also, please don't be so rude to Leela, she was only using the information given to her.
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