Getting a counselor

I sometimes feel like I want someone not in my family or one of my bffs to talk to. So the right thing to do would to get a counsellor right? But I have two issues. One: how do I ask my mom for one? I feel so scared of asking her. Two: can I trust a counsellor or will they make guesses about my family life that are untrue because of something I tell them. Please answer honestly for two!

- Anonymous

Hello.

I completely understand where you’re coming from. I used to see a counselor myself, and while it was very beneficial, it was a little difficult to work up the courage to ask my mom about it at first. Just try to state things clearly and calmly, and I’m sure she’ll understand. Maybe something like, “Hey, sorry if this is a little out of the blue, but I think seeing a counselor could really help me feel better.” I’m sure she’ll understand completely and do her best to help you find what you need.

If you’re feeling particularly nervous about asking, maybe try to find a time when you could really talk to her about it instead of asking her spontaneously, and before you ask try to do something to help yourself relax (such as reading).

As for the second part, I can’t say anything absolutely for certain as I myself am not a counselor, but I’m almost completely sure they won’t. They aren’t supposed to make assumptions, only help you with the information you specifically provide them with. I’m about 99.99% positive that they won’t make any assumptions outside of what they know to be fact, because if they did they probably wouldn’t be able to provide the best advice possible. Even if they did make an assumption, if they brought it up to you and you told them it was incorrect they would listen to you -- that's their job, after all.

A good thing to know about counselors/therapists is that they can’t tell anyone else what you tell them, with the exception of statements that would mean you’re in legitimate danger. You definitely don’t have to worry about any of your private thoughts and feelings being shared without your consent.

Good luck with asking your parents for a counselor! I really hope that you can get what you need to feel your absolute best.

Replies

Rayna November 18, 2018 at 3:15pm

I have a idea if you want someone to talk too you could always rely on someone different like someone on NMG for instance.
- Decemberdragon > Rayna November 21, 2018 at 5:13am
  
  Well, NMGers aren't professionals, and as much as we may want to help, it's not within something we can do. Plus, therapists have gone through certified training and can completely devote themselves to someone's situation.
  - Mod S2S Mentor
    
    Katharine > Decemberdragon November 22, 2018 at 2:57pm
    
    ^^^ Exactly. While we can provide temporary help/advice and moral support, we're not trained to help people on a regular basis, especially with serious issues. I've gone through some dark times with toxic friends and even though I could vent to my mom about it, there wasn't much she could do to help me, so I had to find a counselor who could. Relying on friends, family, and NMGers for advice isn't inherently a bad thing! It just becomes one when we are put in place of a professional, which we are not certified to do.

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