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Unpopular Opinions

(I don't think this exists already, my apologies if it does).

So I find myself often with opinions that other people don't agree with (not necessarily big things but just stuff), so here is a place to share all your unpopular opinions.

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RULES:

  1. Try to keep the political stuff light (just because it can easily rile people up) but if you are going to talk politics, don't get too targeting. Nothing like "Drumpf supporters are stupid" or "Liberals are annoying." The same goes for religion; don't target other groups.

  2. !!!this is important!!!>Please don't start arguments. A little bit of talk/debate is fine (as long as it doesn't devour the rest of the discussion), but if someone has an opinion you don't agree with, don't tell them that their opinion is stupid or invalid. The point of this message board is for people to voice opinions that others don't share.

  3. Don't share general things (ex: "I believe in equality") because things like that aren't really unpopular opinions.

         4. Do not target specific groups of people.

         5. Do not gang up on one person with a different opinion.

NOTE: IF A DEBATE IS MORE THAN A PAGE LONG PLEASE CONTINUE IT HERE SO IT DOESN'T CLOG UP THE DISCUSSION. Debating is fine, but when it overtakes the rest of the board it needs to be moved because this board isn't just for debate.

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Replies

  • Mod S2S Mentor
    I rather dislike terms such as "best friend," "BFF," and the like.

    A few reasons:

    - The whole concept of calling one friend is "better" than another bothers me. Every friend is different, and I don't see the point of calling one friend the "best" one, over all the others. There are certainly different types of friendships, some more meaningful than others, but if you must differentiate between "levels" of friendship, why not just say "close friend"?
    - While I know there are people who have multiple "best friends," or a "best friend group" the term itself implies the idea that people should have one friend who is above all others, and that doesn't sit right with me either.
    - The term seems to me to exclude the possibility of natural development of other friendships. Say A and B are "BFFs," but B has another friend, C. B and C's friendship gradually grows, until they're even closer than A and B. A and B's friendship is just as strong and meaningful as ever, but now there's another relationship in the equation, which is, if you will, an even "better" friendship. Now what?
    - With "BFF" ("Best Friends Forever", for anyone unfamiliar with the abbreviation), the "forever" bit causes some added discomfort for me. "Forever" friendships are beautiful things, and it's wonderful to feel that yours will be one of this (all-too-rare) category, but for one thing, the sad truth is that there's a decent chance that any friendship will *not* last forever, however much you might wish and expect it to at a particular point in time. That aside, mainly the "forever" simply underscores all of my other concerns.
    - This last is more of a personal preference rather than a philosophical matter, but I find that actions speak louder than words, and sometimes, putting a label like "BFF" to a friendship feels, to me, almost cheapening. I believe that the best friendships come into being naturally, and typically gradually. If I share a really special friendship with one person, that's great. If they *are* my closest friend, cool! Do I really need to broadcast it to the world by labeling us "BFFs," rather than our being "best friend" simply manifesting itself naturally in our interactions?
    Again, this is just a personal feeling, but I don't really see a point in making a close friendship which already exists "official"—and I do see reasons not to do so, discussed above. And, as I said, I really do feel as if, for me, it could potentially almost cheapen our relationship. (There are exceptions, of course, and to clarify, I'm definitely not saying that all self-proclaimed "best friends" are cheapening their friendship by putting the term to it; this is just me I'm talking about.)

    ... okay, sorry, that was insanely long. In sum: Friendships grow and change, and that's good and natural. Every friendship is valuable in its own right, and I see no point in pitting friendships against each other to label one as "best". In most cases, I'd personally rather prefer to allow my friendships to exist and evolve as they will, rather than needing to label them to "secure" what we have.

    Of course, if people choose to call each other "best friends," that's up to them—just as a point of clarification, this is in no way intended to disparage, question, or otherwise cheapen the worth of these "best friendships". In many (most?) cases, best friendships are incredibly meaningful, beautiful things... it's only the descriptor which somewhat bothers me.
    • Mod S2S Mentor
      I totally agree. I usually call mine my close friends since they're the ones I trust the most, but not inherently better than my other friends/acquaintances- its just a fact that I'm closer to them right now. Sometimes I call one of my close friends "bestie" but its mutual and more of an affectionate term then an 'end all be all' label. I remember when I was 15 having the security of being someone's best friend was almost toxic for me, as I was scared to lose that label on my friendships and be replaced by some other "best friend". Almost like it was a competition. Accepting that friendships are a flexible, ever-changing human connection and dropping the term best friend was a way healthier perspective for me :')
    • yES!!!!! I've never had anyone who I could call my best friend, not even close. All my friends have others they call their BFF and it makes me feel like I shouldn't bother trying to talk to them because they already have a friend that is better than me. It's like everyone already has a best friend but me, so obviously I'll never be as good as them. So yeah, I totally agree with everything you said. :D
    • I very, very much agree.
    • I mostly agree. I think that using the word "best" is not great, you could just call them your closest friend, cause that's what best friends are, and they're not better than your other friends. But I don't see much else wrong with using the term best friend, the only problem I have with it is when I've called someone my best friend and they got confused because they didn't consider me their best friend. Also it has just become a societal norm, so basically everyone uses it without problem. The forever part, on the other hand, does bug me. You could make a new best friend but then you might feel like you are betraying your "forever" bond with a best friend you've had for longer, since you feel like you can't have two best friends. Also friendships do end, so saying you'll be best friends forever doesn't mean it will really be for forever.
    • ^^^^^^^^^^^ Y E S.

      I fully agree. there is something about the term that doesn’t feel right to me. It also makes people feel like the need to find that ‘best friend’ which has always been hard for me. I have one friend who I consider my closest friend (although sometimes I just call her my best friend for simplicity) who will NeVeR refer to me as her best friend or closest friend and it’s really hard but it shows that two people can be great friends without the label or anything. It’s a really interesting topic to me, so I may elaborate later ;)
    • I agree. Sometimes I use them for lack of a better term or just for simplicity sake.
    • I sometimes agree. I have a friend who I call my "best friend" but I think that (for me, at least) that's mostly habit now, since we've been "best friends" for ten years.

      I do agree that calling another friend "best" feels a little weird, and like you're putting that friend above all others, which seems wrong. But I bounce back and forth. I like it. I feel weird using the label. It depends.
    • I don't talk about BFF's like that, either. I have friends who are like siblings to me, but no 'best' friends.
    • W o w. I never really thought about that. Me and my friend call each other best friends because we have been friends for a long time and we have had a lot of fights but we are still friends. Maybe I won't say best friends anymore
This reply was deleted.

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