Just a warning this is going to be long, because these issues have been bottled up inside me forever. So basically I have a friend who Ive been friends with since about grade 3(5 years). She was always a bit more mature than me in ways-interested in boys when I thought they had cooties, wearing makeup before I felt pressured to do so myself. She had her first real makeout kiss at age 11 and meanwhile I'm 14 and have never been kissed.
This never bothered me until this year when she started being rude to me about it. She is still my friend and we have great times together but every now and then she'll say a really hurtfull comment about me dying a virgin or the fact that I have never had a boyfriend. I know she is joking but these comments hurt me much more than I let on because although I hate my feminist self for wanting a man, I really do want a boyfriend I just can't get one. She even once totally non chalantly called me a prude which wasn't even when we were fighting she just slipped it into the conversation.
I know that this is a frenemy situation and that I should find new friends but this is where it gets complicated. My friend acts really mocho and trying to look tough when I know the real her is compassionate and loving. However now her true self has been completely abolished and she only is tough and rude to me showing no remorse. Its like she has to prove to other people and prove to herself that she is tough.
As hurt as I get, me and my friends are super worried for her. She acts really distant most days and rarely seems to have fun anymore. Her family seems super nice from what I know of them but shes hinted at the fact that she has family issues. This isn't her trying to seek attention. it took her a week of being really strange and going to the bathroom to cry and screaming at us when we came in before she opened up about wanting to run away. Just last night she told me that she has really bad depression and social anxiety which I totally understand because I have mild anxiety too. However shes only opened up to me twice in the last year and all the other times she has brushed us off or gotten really really angry at us when we were trying to help her.
Finally, she drinks a lot. Like a lot. And were only 14 for goodness sakes. I don't judge her for drinking a bit, lots of my friends do, but hse is borderline alcoholic. SHe drinks in the middle of the day when she comes home from lunch and even brings alhocol to school occasionaly. She told me once that she cant go to a social event without drinking a few shots. This worries me a lot.
I want to help her but she wont let me. If I talk to her shell push me away and end this friendship that I love. I don't want things to continue as normal though because she makes me feel bad about myself when I am with her. I don't know if there is an answer but please help me. What should I do?