Whether it’s just hormones or what, I can’t be the only one who’s annoyed when I feel like I built up my confidence so high and had been so content being single, just to fall down again into the pit of ‘what’s wrong with me why don’t I have a loving and adoring partner already what am I doing wrong'. It sounds absolutely silly in my confidence highs, but all too real at my low points.
A lot of us go through these phases, and usually this feeling grows around Valentine’s Day when we see all these seemingly happy couples. I know I’ve been a lot more down on myself because my two closest friends are dating someone, so I myself need these reminders. Welcome to the Hub of Single-Pringles, I’m your host and we’re going to go through why its 100% absolutely, perfectly, and utterly OK to be single.
You Can Learn Who You Are
Especially when you’re younger, your brain is still developing and will go through various phases until it stabilizes into who it is- and even then you still learn new things about yourself! Take this time while you’re single to really get to know who you are. If you jump into the dating ring too soon, it’ll be real easy to wrap your identity into someone else, which is unhealthy for you and the relationship, and will leave you spiraling into an identity crisis when it ends. Develop a relationship with yourself in the sense of building up self worth, your self image, learning how you work and why you do the things you do. Find out what your boundaries are, what your limits are, and find the balance of accepting yourself but working to improve what you can and being the best person you can be.
Everyone's Life Story is Different
Some people meet their soulmate as childhood friends or highschool sweethearts. Others meet theirs in college. My brother met the love of his life in his mid/late 20s. Some don’t find theirs until their 30s or 40s, or even later. Everyone has a different path that they’re taking and there is no wrong or right time to find love when it comes to age alone. The human race is so immensely diverse as it is, who’s to say that the age we find our soulmate should all be the same? Or something is wrong with us if we don’t?
Relationships Are Stressful
Relationships are fantastic, don’t get me wrong. But they aren’t all the sunshine and rainbows our brains tend to illusion they are. Love is hard, love is work. And sometimes it’s really stressful. Worth it in the end, sure, but still it’s not something you should particularly rush into. It’s a big commitment, and its more than reasonable to take your time and focus on other important things in your life for now, such as school, careers, hobbies, just having fun, etc.
Your Worth is NOT Defined by How Date-able You Are
Our brains really love making it seem like this big ‘NOT DATING’ tag is hanging over our heads in bold red letters-
-When in reality, that’s such a small facet of who we are as people. You’re literally a human who’s just not dating anyone. And you’re among many who are the same way. Your self worth should not be fully reliant on any other person, as you’ll never be happy if it is. Remind yourself of your qualities, strong quirks, and that you are far more than just that one tag.
Treasure Your Freedom
I think this is one of the best things about being single- you don’t have to plan around any other person. You can just, literally do whatever you want (within reason, obviously). No need to stress about what the other person is thinking or how to balance your life around theirs. You can just, cruise along and make your own independent choices. Plus, statistically speaking, you will spend the majority of your life with your future significant other, so you might as well enjoy this brief time living by your own terms while it lasts :)
So let’s all do ourselves a favor, and spend this Valentine’s day treating ourselves because we are all lovely individuals and we don’t need another person to be happy. Spend the night with a group of friends, single or not, or just hang back by yourself. Buy yourself some chocolates because you earned it, snuggle up with your favorite plushies and blankets and watch that show/movie you’ve been dying to see. Draw your favorite ships/characters/whatever the heck makes you happy. Take a nice, long bubble bath and read a book. Make it a good night, however you spend it, because you’re fantabulous just as you are and when the time is right, you will find the right person for you ;)
Writing and drawings done by Katharine